International Cannabis Business Conference

Comedy Special: 'Joe Rogan: Rocky Mountain High'

Joe Rogan sez: "Smoke pot, jerk off and try to stay awake."

Joe Rogan's latest stand-up special premiered on Comedy Central Friday night. Filmed at Denver Comedy Works, it's appropriately titled, Rocky Mountain High.

In the second minute, Rogen launches into a pot routine: 

"You know about Colorado? It's cold there too. And they have legal weed. That's the way to do it. First state to step up. First state to say enough of this fucking baby nonsense, treat me like a child, tell me I can't have weed. First of all, everybody who tells you you can't have weed, they all should get on weed. Every single one of those motherfuckers, they're the people that need weed more than anybody. The people who are trying to stop weed. Everybody says you're wasting your life, you're going to get paranoid, you getting paranoid? That's the best part! Everybody's afraid of that. Everybody's afraid of getting paranoid. I think it's a good idea to be paranoid now and again because I think people are entirely too cocky for the situation that we're confronted with, with what this life actually is. We're on a fucking giant ball that's spinning in space and nobody talks about it. It's going a thousand miles an hour. Floating in the sky above us is a giant fireball a million times bigger than the Earth and you need it for Vitamin D. If you stare at it you'll go blind, it's trying to give you cancer and if it's not there you get sad. We're spinning in infinity… If that doesn't freak you out, you need to eat a pot cookie and get on a fucking airplane because you're entirely too cocky. You want to shit your pants? Pot cookie/airplane - that's a religious experience. It's available for everyone." 

Asked by an audience member why marijuana's illegal, Rogan replies: "Pharmaceutical companies are the big one. They don't want you to have because if you have weed you wouldn't need to buy a lot of their shit. If you had weed you wouldn't need sleeping pills. Smoke pot, jerk of and… try to stay awake. Seriously, if you can smoke pot, jerk off and stay awake, you should be a Navy Seal."

Rogen's currently appearing in The Culture High, Bret Harvey's stinging indictment of the War on Drugs.

Buy the uncensored and uncut version of Rocky Mountain High

Steve Bloom

Steve Bloom

Publisher of CelebStoner.com, editor-in-chief of Freedom Leaf, co-author of Pot Culture and Reefer Movie Madness, and the former editor of High Times.